My glamorous career in journalism

A friend stopped me at a girls’ basketball game recently to tell me how much he enjoyed a column I wrote several years ago about spring fever. He said that he re-reads it often, because it’s hanging on the wall at the Peerless Saloon & Grille. In the men’s bathroom. Next to the urinal.

“I don’t think they meant to frame your column,” he said. “They meant to frame the story that was printed next to it.”

One of the coolest things about writing for a newspaper is that your writing is immortalized in all sorts of strange and interesting places.

I’m framed on the wall at Garfrerick’s Café, for a story I wrote about Dave Garfrerick and his friendship with Birmingham chef Chris Hastings. Every time our family eats at Garfrerick’s, I point this out to my kids. They are not impressed.

I’m quoted in the Wikipedia entry for the “Friends” episode “The One After the Super Bowl.” Apparently I called the guest appearances “a blatant ploy to boost ratings,” although I don’t remember writing that. I don’t even remember watching the show.

A story I wrote on Webkinz and other digitally interactive toys was referenced in a couple of school research papers.

I Googled myself recently, and found a motley collection of newspaper stories attributed to me. I’ve been in this business for 30 years. I’ve covered a Super Bowl, an international piano competition and the world premiere of the Bette Midler movie “For the Boys.” I’ve interviewed Ellen DeGeneres and Ellsworth Kelly.

Out of the several thousand stories I have written, which ones are immortalized on the interwebs?

• A 1990 story on Halloween decorations.

• A 1991 story on golf clothes.

• A 1991 story about new roller coaster cars at Six Flags.

• A 1994 story on the history of popcorn.

• A 1994 essay about the moon (actually, that’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I’m glad somebody saved that one.)

• A 2008 story on how to clean out your refrigerator.

• A 2008 story on the Writers Guild strike, which is archived at Democratic Underground.

• A 2009 story about my then-7-year-old daughter’s efforts to save the polar bears, which was picked up by FreeRepublic.com as an example of the liberal media’s biased coverage of climate change. (Two commenters assumed I was a man. One commenter advised me to just go ahead and commit suicide now. Another commenter called my daughter an … ooops, I digress.)

It could be worse. There was the time my daughter and I were at the pet store, looking at the cats available for adoption. My daughter noticed that the cat cages were lined with newspaper. “Oh look!” she said. “There’s your column!”

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