What’s your name again?
I never forget a face, but I can always forget a name
I have been forgetting people’s names a lot recently, which is annoying, but also stressful because it means I am having an entire conversation while also worrying that a third party is going to join in and I will be forced to make introductions.
(This does work both ways. Someone walked past me the other day and said, “Hi, Betty!”)
Pro tip: If you google “Why can’t I remember names anymore” the top results will be for dementia treatments and free cognitive tests.
I am a sucker for quizzes, so I took the free cognitive test. I made a 99. I can’t remember the names of my friends, but I can remember bird-duck-bunny-horse-kangaroo.
Names used to be so much easier to remember. People in Britain didn’t even use last names until the 11th century. And then the names were practical, based on things like your job — Carpenter, Fisher, Farmer — or your place of residence — Hill, Fields, Green.
If your father was Jack, your last name might be Jackson; if your dad was named Will, you could be Wilson. They also did this in Spain; Martinez means “son of Martin.”
The most common last name in America is Smith, which I suppose makes us a nation of metalworkers.
My family name is Kestler, which is German for “kettle-maker.”
My married name is of Welsh origin, and might have originally meant “David’s son.”
It would be so much easier to remember names if all the bakers were still named Baker.
What exactly is going on in my brain when I can’t remember someone’s name?
It’s all about context, psychology professor Paul Reber explained in Scientific American magazine. Your brain is good at remembering the broad outlines of past events — but not the details. You might recognize a person’s face and remember where you met them, but that information offers no clues about their name — because names are abstract and arbitrary.
If you’re older, you may be wiser, but your aging brain is also losing storage space and processing speed. Names are among the first things to go.
Some people say you can help yourself remember names by rhyming them with something. Bruce is a goose. Jesse is messy. Teddy is ready. Margaret is … anybody know a rhyme for Margaret?
I usually forget someone’s name two minutes after we’ve been introduced, probably because I’m too busy admiring their outfit or planning what I’m going to say next.
Time magazine once asked some etiquette experts for advice on what to say when you can’t remember someone’s name:
• “I know we met at such-and-such place, I’m just blanking on your name at the moment.”
• “I should know this. What’s your name again?”
• “I’m doing that thing where my brain has your face on file but forgot to label it. Help me out?”
• “I want to say … Archibald? No? OK, help me out.”
I like that last one. I can remember “Archibald.” From now on, you’re all Archibalds to me.