Sweatin’ with the oldies
Another in my continuing conversations with Old Age
Me: I’ve been reading that hot weather can be harder on the elderly, so I’ve been taking extra precautions this summer.
Old Age: Are you wearing sunscreen?
Me: Oops, I keep forgetting to do that.
Old Age: Are you drinking extra water?
Me: I am drinking extra liquids of a different sort.
Old Age: Are you wearing loose-fitting clothing?
Me: I do that all the time anyway.
Old Age: Well, what extra precautions are you taking?
Me: When I’m driving with the top down on my convertible, I also put on the air-conditioning.
Me: I’ve got a hankering to clean out the garage.
Old Age: Don’t do that. It’s the hottest day of the year! You could give yourself heatstroke.
Me: Good point. I better put it off for another six months.
Old Age: But won’t it be too cold then?
Me: Exactly.
Me: I’m feeling very hippy today.
Old Age: Are you channeling that groovy lifestyle of the 1960s, which you were born too late to truly enjoy?
Me: No. I mean I’m having trouble buttoning my pants.
Me: I keep hearing about dirty sodas. What are they? Is this a thing I would actually want to drink?
Old Age: It’s a soda with added flavorings and cream.
Me: So does that mean my vanilla latte is a dirty coffee? Is my fettuccini alfredo just dirty noodles? Is my Oreo a dirty cookie?!
Old Age: Please stop.
Me: I don’t care if my Oreos are dirty! I’m eating them anyway!
Me: I hate being in the house all day, but I also hate putting on presentable clothes to go out.
Old Age: You’re torn.
Me: It is indeed a dilemma.
Old Age: No, I mean you’ve worn a hole in those comfy pants.
Old Age: Well this is interesting. It says here that dogs may have domesticated themselves in order to get snacks.
Me: Same.
Me: I keep seeing commercials for these new prescription drugs, and I can’t tell what any of them are for. Like Skyrizi. What does that do? Does it have anything to do with the “rizz” I keep hearing the kids talk about?
Old Age: No. It’s used to treat psoriasis, Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis.
Me: What’s Rinvoq? That sounds like I’m exercising my right to the Fifth Amendment.
Old Age: It can also be used to treat psoriasis, Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis.
Me: How about Tremfya? Does it treat tremors?
Old Age: No, it’s for psoriasis, Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis.
Me: I think the drug companies should stop making up words and just call things what they are. Arthritis medicine should be “Joint Help.”
Old Age: I think they’re reserving that name for medical marijuana.
cute ....i feel your thoughts