If you’re speaking English, there’s a decent chance you’re doing it wrong. For starters, it’s just a confusing language. For another, we still banter about a lot of sayings that use very old words — “tenter,” “muster,” “bate” — that are easy to get wrong.
You might hear people say “for all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes,” or “seize and desist” instead of “cease and desist.”
Such a phrase — where the mistaken word sort of makes sense — is called an “eggcorn,” a term coined in 2003 in honor of a woman who always thought those nuts that grow on oak trees were “eggcorns.”
An eggcorn is different from a malapropism, which is a mistaken word that makes no sense and is just funny. “He is the very pineapple of politeness” instead of, “He is the very pinnacle of politeness.”
Here are some more words you might be wrong about:
• It’s dog-eat-dog, not doggy-dog. There is an old proverb that says, “Dog does not eat dog,” meaning one scoundrel won’t harm another scoundrel. Unless things get really harsh and competitive, then it could become a dog-eat-dog world. A lot of people mis-hear this as “doggy-dog world” — which would actually be a much nicer place to live.
• It’s pass muster, not mustard. “Muster” is an old word meaning an assembling of troops for inspection, so if you “pass muster” you pass inspection. “Pass mustard” would be something you do at a cook-out, or perhaps while playing Clue.
• It’s a statute of limitations, not a statue. A statue of limitations would be like the Venus De Milo, constrained because she has no arms.
• It’s eke out, not eek. I like the misspelled one a lot better. If you see a mouse and freak out, that might be an eek out.
• It’s nip it in the bud — as in, pinch off the bud of a flower before it has a chance to grow bigger — not nip it in the butt. Please stop advising people to nip it in the butt.
• It’s a tough row to hoe, not a tough road. “Row,” like in a vegetable garden, where one would reasonably be using a hoe. Nobody should be out there trying to hoe through asphalt.
• It’s free rein, not reign. The former is what a horse wears, the latter is what a king does. Although I suppose a king would have free rein to reign.
• It’s not Chester drawers. Chester is the Cheetos mascot. That piece of furniture containing your socks and underwear is a chest of drawers.
• It’s tenterhooks, not tender hooks. Way back in the 1300s in the British Isles, the process of making cloth involved stretching wet fabric on a wooden frame called a “tenter,” using “tenterhooks.” Some 400 years later, people were using the phrase “on tenterhooks” to mean someone was in a state of tension or anxiety. Personally, I would rather be on tender hooks.
• It’s bated breath, not baited. “Bate” is an old word meaning “restrain,” as in holding your breath. If you have baited breath, try Listerine.
• It’s “you’ve got another think coming,” not “thing.” Unless you’re me. I never have another think coming. It’s just one thing after another.